Dual Opposition
by AmoghSyn
Summary: <html><head></head>Life drives Roxas to the edge. Who he meets there turns his world around. What happens after you're supposed to be dead? Do you believe in angels? Or devils? Good or Evil? And which one is Axel? Akuroku AU My old story Vertigo revised.</html>
1. That Man Jumped Out The Window

_So I had an old account years ago on Runswithskizors. I'm reviving my old stories. Cleaned em up, adding a little love and experience. _

_Hope you enjoy!_

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><p>The black depths of the ice cold water rushed beneath my feet, calling to me their swift voice, whispering my name softly.<p>

_gurgle gurgle._

It was tempting.

My feet inched closer to the edge. Beneath me, who knows how far, the calm waters trickled over ice.

They were about to take my troubling life out of my hands.

_Slowly, slowly._

I thought to myself. I didn't want to slip.

Ha! Humor? So close to the end? To the edge.

I drew a deep, cold breath, settling the frazzled nerves. Somewhere, there was enlightenment on the edges of my subconscious. Attachments faded away. I let go of the railing, uncertain about everything. In this moment, I was freed.

I raised my arms to my sides as they turned into wings. I lifted my head to face the blackened sky. I flexed the feathered things. They stretched and rose to great, spanning lengths above me, permissing my freedom.

I had a taste and wanted more.

With the last gulp of air, I took that step off the edge of the earth, plummeting into darkness.

The wind did not rush past my ears, whistling approval in great cheers as I took my own life. The cold water did not rush up underneath me, enveloping me in prickling, cold arms. No numbing. Nothing washed away all of my fears and erased my body from this earth. I was still here, still breathing, suspended, somehow, in mid air.

I opened my eyes, trying to make sense of this sudden lack of gravity.

Instead of the cold, a warmth wrapped securely around my waist, holding me away from the water. What felt a whole lifetime flashed by my eyes before the arms pulled me down, setting me squarely on the cobblestone bridge. My eyes bugged out of my skull, my breathing couldn't catch up to my racing heart. I felt a face drop on to my shoulder, letting out a long, heated breath on the back of my neck. a shiver ran up my spine. The grip loosened and there I sat, leaning against the warmth.

A stranger's voice vibrated through my frame in a shaky laugh. He breathed into my ear, "Thought I was too late."

He sounded as shook up as I felt. His words were smoke, burning through my brain like hot coals, a fire spreading through my veins from those low cinders. I relaxed into the heat.

Had it been only seconds ago that I had wished for the coldness of death?

Remembering myself, I steeled over, roughly shoving away from the stranger's arms. I took a few steps back, regaining my composure before shooting him a glare.

When I saw him, however, my expression faltered. His spiky, red hair was outrageous, made him look like a delinquent, if every other aspect of him didn't scream the same thing. His eyes were emeralds surrounded by a layer of charcoal eyelashes, these two tear shaped tattoos giving him the appearance of a ridiculous sad clown. He was dressed head to toe in black, like some kind of criminal.

I felt a tug inside me somewhere. Like a moth to flame, I was tantalized by his heat. Hypnotized by those eyes. I snapped out of it.

Hardening once again, I recovered from the initial shock of..._him_. Drawing a steady breath in through my teeth, I crossed my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at him. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing!" I snarled.

A hurt look filled those green eyes, and confusion, "I was saving you."

"What if I didn't want to be saved," I bit back.

"But you were going to jump off the bridge," he stated plainly, "you would've drowned."

"That was the point," I snapped, looking over to that bridge. Just over the edge, my coffin still awaited me. So far away now...

I looked back to the red head who was staring at me dumbly. His lack of expression threw me off. "Why did you want to kill yourself," He asked, demeanor completely serious.

"That...is a complicated question," I muttered under my breath, staring at my shoes now, thinking back to all the events that lead up to my final decision. I quickly lifted my gaze and rebounded with, "Why did you stop me?"

A small smirk graced his features, lighting up his whole face. His expression tugged at my stomach and made the blood in my face boil. With a cluck of his tongue he replied, "Ah, now that's the easiest question. I'm your guardian angel, of course."

I turned on my heel and left.

Psychopath. Determined to disentangle from our encounter, I began to walk...where? I had no idea. I couldn't go home. I couldn't walk up to a friend's house at 2 in the morning on a thursday night. I'd get kicked out, no doubt about it. I wasn't about to turn around and try to have a serious conversation with Mr. Crazy. So...where would I go tonight was the question. I thought the answer was the bottom of the river. I felt lost.

I stopped on the sidewalk, my breath curling away from me under a street lamp. It was cold. A sob shook my shoulders.

But there were arms to stop them.

"Where are you going tonight?" He asked, practically reading my mind. His arms lay on my shoulders, chin resting on top of my head. Pitiful little jerks tried to escape my torso in even more pitiful cries. Somehow, he stopped them.

I let out my breath slowly.

"I don't know," I choked.

"Well, why don't you come home with me?"

Silence.

"Are you a pedophile," I finally asked. He laughed pretty hard.

With a crooked grin he shook his head and replied, "Nah, I already told you. I'm your guardian angel."

"Not again with the 'guardian angel' thing," I groaned, pushing him away. I turned to face this strange red headed man, "who are you?"

"Whaddya mean," he asked, "I'm not lying if that's what you're thinking."

"That is a ridiculously suspicious thing to say," I retorted blandly and turned to walk away once again. I was not going to put up with some guy's delusions right now. I was having enough trouble trying to sort out if I'd really died and this was Hell or something. Stuck here with crazy people who dont make sense, only false promises. Am I sure I'm not just sitting at the bottom of the river? I pinched myself. Ow!

"Hold on, you gatta come back with me," this guy yelled, jogging to catch up with me,"I was sent by the higher ups. Face it kid, I'm stuck with you and you're stuck with me."

"Like hell," I snapped, taking a sharp right down another path out of the park and onto a street sidewalk. They were virtually empty save a few late night drunkards who wanted to forget they had wives. Unfortunately for me, he kept up. Curse those lanky legs of his!

"So if you're not gunna bunk with me," he trailed off in a lofty voice, "then where are ya gunna go? Home?"

"No," I spat.

"Friend's house?"

"No," my reply was sullen.

"Family member of any kind?"

I was silent.

"So...basically I'm your best choice, right?"

"More like my _only_ choice," I sighed dramatically.

His grin sucked up most of his face when he heard that. "That sounded like a submission!"

"As if," I huffed, quickening my pace.

"Hold on," He said, and I found myself stopping, waiting for him. He fished around for something in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a cigarette and placed the stick into his mouth, at the same moment whipping out a lighter and flashing it across his face. A spark ignited the air for a split second in the darkness of night. I watched, waiting for him to spark it again to light his cigarette, but he merely put it away. My face scrunched up in confusion...until I saw the end lighting up with dull cinders.

"How did you do that," I asked softly.

He looked over at me. With a knowing smirk, he tapped the ashes off the end and stuck the butt back in his mouth. "It's magic."

I rolled my eyes and kept walking, "So you're a guardian angel sent from heaven to watch over me...with 5 minute smoke breaks?"

"I've got a couple of piercings too," he snickered, a wicked smile on his face, "wanna see em?"

I blanched and smacked his arm.

He rubbed it with an amused look, turning to face the sky above us. The stars twinkled coldly in the distance, no interest in petty, human life.

With a deep sigh he told me, "The mystery of earth. Human vices got to me." He turned to look at me deeply with those emerald eyes. "So kid, you coming home with me or what?"

I couldn't say anything. We continued walking as I held my breath. I knew that if I released it, it would come out as a white flag.

"Blondie," he finally asked, poking me in the side.

I released the air with a tormented, "_Fine!_"

A lopsided grin stole over his wicked lips, wide, green eyes sparkling. He dropped his cigarette to the ground, squishing it firmly into the concrete. Suddenly, his lanky arms swept me up in a vice grip of a hug, crushing me to his chest as he chuckled lightly. After my initial shock, I struggled against his hold, trying to break free...but eventually gave up on that as well. I felt broken all of a sudden. My moment of freedom back on the bridge felt so far away…

"Alright, kid, lets get some food in you," he said, setting me back on my feet. I still couldnt breathe right. "I'll bet you're starving, near death experiences and everything. I'll show you my favorite late night place. Come on, stop looking so morose, you're not 6 feet under water and I'm not castrated, so count your blessings for the both of us."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I dead panned, "And my name's not kid, or blondie. It's Roxas."

With a crooked, devilish smile, he winked at me and replied, "Nice to meet ya Roxas. Name's Axel. Memorize it."

Suddenly, the whole world shifted to the right.

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><p><em><strong>Perspectives shift daily. I prefer mine to the right.<strong>_


	2. When Water Comes to Life

Despite my protests, I found myself, quite against my will, at a late night diner. A middle aged woman with a pound of make up on was serving scorching hot, completely tasteless black coffee from a hot plate. Her pudgy hand on her plump waist, she leaned over and filled my mug. I got a clear look at the wrinkles lining her face; laugh lines, frown lines, crows feet. They would've seemed endearing had it not be for the late hours pressed into every one of those folds. She turned to Axel then, jutting her hip out to anchor her weight. "Anything you want, sweetheart?"

"We're good for now," he smiled at her.

After a moment of looking at the red head with some curiosity, she hauled herself forward in a way only old women know how, letting her fake nails graze along the laminated table top and drop to her side. I watched her large hips sway as she moved to pour another cup of coffee for a strange looking man with a newspaper. What was he doing at a diner at 2 in the morning? Then again, what were we?

"Don't like coffee?" I ripped my gaze away from...whatever it was I had been trying to see. I watched him with mild disgust as he poured spoonful after spoonful of sugar into his creation, adding in a generous amount of cream as well.

"Do you?" I asked, sticking my tongue out as he took a gulp.

He just shook his head, a grin twisting his lips up in an expression of amusement. "should've known you like it bitter."

I made a sneering face at him and tried to ignore the banter by focusing on the dark liquid in my urge to scream at Axel was suddenly very overwhelming. I wanted to scream my questions at him, ask him why he had pulled me from that bridge, why were we here, why did he care, why did we exist, what was the fucking point of it all?! I wanted to disrupt any peace and quiet this little diner had.

My dread and depression reared up, threatening to break out of my lungs in huge sobs. I slumped down into my seat to hide myself from the world I had been trying to escape, suppressing my upcoming emotional outburst...or rather, breakdown. Please, not in this place, in front of Axel, Newspaper Guy, and especially that drying up old lady. She would soak her cracked and chapped soul in my tears. Oh god, here comes the melodrama.

As I tried my hardest not to cry, the crushing weight of...everything pressed in on me, pushing my spirit down into the pit of my stomach, making the awful emotions bubble up in my throat like burning bile.

I could feel those emerald eyes staring me down, boring through my forehead, trying to see inside my skull. Damn that man for being here! I hate it when people see me cry.

I suddenly felt an arm snake behind my back and another around my stomach, wrapping me in a warm circle, pulling me closer. I sat utterly still for a moment until that heat started to sink in and loosen me up. I relaxed against his chest.

It was just so...pleasant...I had never really been held before. Well sure, I've gotten hugs from my friends, but that hardly counts. His hugs felt...like something no human had probably ever felt before. Strange, tingling...

He lowered his cheek until it pressed into the top of my head, his breath saturated my hair. A voice tickled in my ear as he whispered very softly now and then, "Shh...It's alright, I've got you, It's alright."

"Who are you," I breathed.

A quiet chuckle reverberated through through his body. I could feel it as if it were my own. "Silly, I already told you."

"No," I shook my head against him, recalling his assertion that he was some sort of angel, "not what are you, _who_?"

We were silent for a long time. Exhaustion from the night was taking its toll on my mental and physical stamina. My eyelids started to droop, my head lulled. Sensing this, Axel pushed me up and squared my shoulders with his palms to steady me. The first truly serious expression I had seen on his face that whole night was staring down at me with worry. He finally answered my question, "I'm your friend, Roxas."

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><p>It took a lot of effort to finally get me out of the diner, my arm around his neck, Axel had to hunch to help me walk normally. I didn't know what was wrong with me, I felt pathetic for having to depend on him, hang on him like a tacky purse. Axel was right though, near death experiences sure do take a lot out of you.<p>

I made it a block before I passed out.

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><p>I couldn't tell you how much time had passed until I heard a door being kicked open. It felt like only a couple of seconds. Had I fallen asleep?<p>

He walked a couple more steps until I was dumped onto something soft. A bed? Something heavy and warm was laid on top of me...A blanket. "Gosh, Roxy, you're a lot heavier than you look."

Oh god, he had carried me here? That's embarrassing.

I wanted to...say something mean...but...where was I?

A weight suddenly flopped down beside me and let out a sigh.

Axel.

"Alright blondie, time to get some shut eye," his voice drifted lazily into my ear. "staying up till all hours of the morning isn't...very..." His voice trailed off as his breathing slowed. Dead asleep in seconds.

Again, that heat source radiated from a distant place. I wanted it. I rolled around a bit until I found the direction it was coming from. This was Axel's? It was amazing and _hot_. He should've burned a hole through his sheets. I rested my hands on his chest to warm them, moving around, trying to-

"Watchya lookin' for, Rox?"

I drew myself closer to that warmth. This was Axel. I snuggled closer and muttered, "You."

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><p>A door slammed open, ripping me cruelly from my pleasant dreams of a happy, care free life surrounded by warmth and love. A pair of arms flew away from my body, making the entire bed shake. My eyes were desperately adjusting to the light of these new surroundings. Blinking away the bleariness, I focused on the first thing I could. Axel.<p>

Wait.

What?

Axel?

I had stayed the night?!

He was running a frantic hand through his untamed mane of fiery red hair, green eyes squinting against the morning light. He looked...like a sun god. The gentle light fell on his face, softening his perfect, harsh features. He was shirtless, the golden sun could not even rival the way Axel seemed to glow. He really did resemble an angel. Maybe he wasn't lying.

Wait, what was I thinking?!

He threw the sheets from his legs, pushed a shirt over his head and stumbled to the door, turning the knob. He threw a glance over his shoulder at me. I lay still, dazed and confused. He smiled sadly and turned to leave.

I sat up slowly, feeling woozy at the blood rush, looking around the room. Black sheets were tangled in my legs and I realized I slept fully clothed. Eugh, how grungy. Running a hand through my spiky bed head also felt a bit disgusting. Heaving a deep sigh, I rubbed my eyes, trying to work out what I would do from here.

_**Crash!**_

What the _hell_ was that!? I nearly jumped out of my skin. My heart pounding against my rib cage, I hastily wrenched myself free of the sheets and hurled myself towards the bedroom door.

Someone else was here. I remembered myself just then and cautiously peeked around the corner.

"You always did have shitty aim," Axel was speaking to a guy with pale pink hair that flipped away from his face in way too many layers. He was gayer than Andy Dick in a leather thong, and that was most certainly saying something. He was standing with his hands on his hips, face set in a scowl, staring down Axel who was standing just to the right of a shattered plate. I guessed the pink haired man had thrown it at the wall in a futile attempt to hit Axel in the head.

He swept a hand through his feathery pink hair, brushing it back over his shoulder in a very feminine gesture. "Well, we can't _all_ be Xigbar, now can we?" He threw the man who was rummaging through the fridge a look of utter death.

Axel sighed in frustration, "Get out of my damn fridge, Xigbar."

The man whipped his head around, a strawberry half in his mouth. He rose an eyebrow in amusement at Axel's outburst, sinking his teeth into the red flesh of the fruit, tearing it out of his mouth in a very menacing way. "Such naughty language," He said around the strawberry squishing between his teeth. He finally swallowed and waggled the bitten off end in Axel's direction. "They're hardly going to let you back in on good conduct if you keep acting this way."

Axel scoffed, "I'm hardly looking for a way back in." He cocked a defiant eyebrow at the old man. "I'm just here doing my business and then I'm off."

Xigbar snorted at this, chucking the end of his strawberry into the garbage can near the pink guy, sinking the shot perfectly. So he _did_ have good aim. "And then what? You gunna get your little pigeon feathers back? Everything will be right as rain again? Fine and dandy? Well I got news for ya kid, It doesn't just work like that. He puts you through a bunch of shit just to jerk you around. Bastard couldn't give a rat's ass about your tanned hide. Don't expect to lay down with the dogs in the dirt and bounce right back to your feet again. You're chained up like the rest of us."

"You better shut the hell up," Axel intoned menacingly, "you know as much about him as you do about morality; next to nothing. So I'd advise that you keep your mouth shut and your nose out of other peoples' business, or their fridges, if you know what's good for you."

"Oh Axel," he laughed, biting into another ripe strawberry, "you _made_ yourself our business. At least we can keep promises, stick to a plan, not just a willy-nilly wait-and-see fuck-around. Come on, Ax. You've turned your back on him because he's turned his back on you. Just join us and you'll get what you seek, what we all seek."

"And what would _that_ be?"

"Salvation."

Axel barked a laugh, eyes dancing like wild fire. "You seek salvation so you go to _him_," He spat, a grin lighting his face, "what a joke! How can you possibly find freedom under _his_ plan?!"

"Better than no plan," The pink haired man growled, hands clenched in fists, "We can live peacefully on earth under _his_ wing. We can redeem ourselves under _his_ rule. We can escape that damned place we've been banished to by that unfair asshole with _his_ plan! Stop living in denial, stop being placated by his complete dismissal of the problems! He acts as if everything is always perfect all the time, but if that's true, why was there a war in the first place?!

"Why are more and more people leaving him? He's living in a fantasy world, you know this better than anyone, Axel. Why are you so persistent in defending him?"

"Because I really hate you guys," he stated, crossing his arms over his chest in a cocky gesture. "I remember the first war, don't you? Read my lips, I want nothing to do with this, got it memorized?"

Mr. Pink threw this Xigbar guy a glare. He nodded. In a flash of movement, too fast to follow through my morning haze, Xigbar was holding Axel's arm pinned behind his back. Axel was pushed to his knees, head forced down to the floor by the nuzzle of a gun. The pink guy was kneeling in front of Axel, who gave him the dirtiest look I'd ever seen.

"You're going to hell one way or another, Axel. We'd much prefer you alive."

"You're delusional."

"Are you're going to come quietly. Or will we have to use Zexion's force?"

Axel flinched, but his eyes remained unwavering, boring into the man in front of him as he enunciated slowly, "Go fuck yourself, Marluxia."

Said man stood up quickly, a wane smile tugged his lips, staring at Xigbar. "Okay! force it is! Xig, you know what to do."

He cocked the gun.

Axel squeezed his eyes shut.

I hurled myself into the room.

Oh fuck.

I managed to catch both men off guard when I flung myself haphazardly at Axel, knocking him to the ground and forcing Xigbar to stumble away. Without any grace, we were piled on top of each other. Axel cocked an eyebrow at me curiously. I managed a sheepish smile.

Suddenly, I was ripped from Axel by a hand fisted in my hair. Yanked to my feet by that pink guy, i struggled against his grip. Twisting only managed to make my scalp hurt worse. A blade softly kissed my neck. I went still.

Axel lunged at this asshole pink man, but Xigbar was too quick. He reeled him back by his shirt collar, kicking him harshly in the shin so he would drop to the ground. He waited for Axel to get to his knees before landing a kick in his gut. Xigbar sat on his back to keep him pinned, pressing the barrel of the gun to the back of his head. He grabbed a handful of Axel's hair to draw his head up. Our eyes met.

Everything was still.

"Looks like we got ourselves a little rat," Marluxia snarled in my ear, his voice felt like slime, "sneaky little pest."

"You know what to do with rodents," Xibgar replied offhandedly.

"No!"

The blade, which increased its pressure, abruptly pulled back. I opened my eyes. Oh man I didn't realize I had closed them. I was probably going to shit myself if this kept up. Axel stared at me desperately. What could i do?! His eyes shimmered.

"Please," he whispered softly, hanging his head, "please, kill me, but...just let him go..._please_."

"Ahhh," Marluxia's voice vibrated through my body, twisting my stomach sickly, "he's not a rat, he's blackmail. But I am curious Axel, why this boy? Where'd you pick up this little cutie?"

He was silent, only staring at me.

"Not gunna tell us, eh," Marluxia softly pressed his dirty lips to my throat, mumbling words against my skin. "I guess if you can't help us save him, he isn't that important." A hot, wet tongue trailed from my neck to a soft spot behind my ear and back down again, leaving a disgusting path of cold saliva in it's wake. I shuddered. "He would be a nice little addition to our toy collection, now don't you think so?"

Axel tried to wrench himself free of Xigbar's hold, but it was useless.

"Stop touching him," Axel growled, "he's got nothing to do with any of this. I told you, you can kill me, but let the kid go. A life for a life, that's a fair deal."

Marluxia halted his assault on my neck, giving Axel a weird look before he shrugged and pushed me to the floor. "Alright, I am nothing if not fair." Axel scoffed at that. "But I need you _alive_. If we kill you, we would just have to go around hunting you down all over again, and what would be the use of that?"

"What are you doing, Marluxia?"

I whipped my head up to find a small figure in a black cloak, exactly how the other two men were dressed, standing in the doorway to the apartment. Axel flinched, pinkie shrunk, Xigbar didn't move.

He lifted the hood from his face as he entered the conflict.

A shock of gray hair gleamed in the sunlight, forming a curtain covering his right eye. His other eye was piercing every soul in the room, the iris was a deep, dark blue that made me shiver. His lips were pressed into a thin, annoyed line; perfect eyebrows drawn together in irritation. He was so pale. Had he ever seen the sun? Still he was… beautiful. He held a certain degree of perfection, just like the other men. Just like Axel.

"What are you doing here, Zexion?" Marluxia, I guess his name was, asked the new arrival.

"Checking in on you two," he replied, looking around. "you do realize that he wants nothing to do with Axel unless he comes of his own free will. Your job is not to hold him hostage, but persuade him."

"Tried the persuasion," Xigbar replied, lifting the gun from Axel's head, "didn't really work."

"And if we're not supposed to use force," Marluxia intoned, placing his hands on his hips, "why did he send you?"

"Merely as babysitter," his pan voice seemed to lighten. To Axel he said, "Don't worry, I'm not here to make you do anything you don't want to. Just remember where your loyalties lie. You're on earth for a reason, and it isn't because you're his favorite."

"I know that," he muttered darkly, "how about this. I'll think about your girl scout invitation and you three can hightail your asses out of my apartment. Deal?"

"I think that is a fair negotiation for the moment," he nodded, face expressionless "remember, every action has an equal and opposite reaction."

"Okay Newton, I'll take your advice to heart," he gritted, "now, if you'll be so kind..."

"Of course."

With that, the gray haired man disappeared in what looked like tendrils of black and purple smog. With a sneer from Marluxia and a grunt from Xigbar, they both vanished in the same manner.

I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath.

Then collapsed on the floor.

Axel hurried over to me, placing a hand on my back and rubbing in soothing circles. "You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "That was a first. Now I can say I've been threatened at knife point for a reason I completely do not understand."

"Yea it happens."

I sat myself up. Sitting cross legged, Axel stared at the floor, unwilling to meet my eyes. He looked forlorn. "What's wrong?"

Dramatically, he waved his hands around to gesture to the entire apartment, "Everything! This is all my fault and I know it. I'm sorry I dragged you in to this. I should have just dropped you off back at home where you belong and-"

"I don't belong at home," I muttered darkly, cutting him off. "I can understand if you have second thoughts about keeping me around, but...I'm grateful for it. I can never go back to that place. I'm sorry I've been a burden to you, I could go find a friend's house now and sleep over-"

He grabbed my chin, trying to stare me directly in the eyes. But I couldn't look at him.

"Look at me."

I stalled until I couldn't take his penetrating looks anymore. Those emerald green eyes... "You are _not_ a burden on me. I feel guilty for putting your life in danger like that-"

"Because jumping off a bridge isn't putting my life in danger."

He continued as if he hadn't heard me, "-and I never want it to happen again. So accept my damn apology already and stop assuming I don't want you here. Assuming makes an ass out of U and Me."

He let go of my chin, "Fine, I accept your apology, no matter how unnecessary it was."

"Good boy!" He ruffled my blonde hair lightly. "Now, do you wanna tell me why you were jumping off a bridge last night?"

"Not really," i grumbled, pawing at my messy locks.

"Well too bad," He retorted, standing up and grabbing a pair of keys from the kitchen table. "because I saved your sorry ass, you're morally obligated to tell me over breakfast."

"I don't think I can keep it down," I grabbed my stomach as it gargled in disapproval, "I almost just had my head sliced off."

"We'll start with coffee and go from there," he offered his hand to me. Looking up into those green eyes, I was swallowed whole. I placed my hand in his without a second thought.


	3. Breakfast With My Shadow

_Ooh we're getting to the good stuff in a few chapters here! Lets shed some light on Roxas, shall we? And maybe Axel too._

_*lights turn off unexpectedly*_

_What the hell-_

_Axel: You'll never know the truth!_

* * *

><p>"Roxas?"<p>

I didn't respond.

"Hey, you okay?"

Because I couldn't speak.

"You don't look so hot."

I looked up to the sky, trying to get a sense of how small my insignificant life is, to feel some gratitude for being alive. I couldn't feel anything. I huffed a cloud of steam and looked at Axel to see some genuine concern in his expression. "Yeah, I'm okay," I offered up as a response, "just...a little shell shocked from almost being killed, I suppose."

Not a total lie.

"Ah, I know what you mean," Axel replied, tapping out a cigarette for the walk. It was a cold, foggy morning. The sky threatened rain.

I looked over as Axel lit up his cigarette. "You know, smoking is bad for you," I chastised him.

"Hey, my Gran gran lived to be a hundred years old," he retorted, wagging his cigarette at me, making his point with a flick of the wrist.

"By smoking?" I exclaimed.

"No, by minding her own damn business!" He burst out laughing. I scowled at him harshly but he was entirely unaffected. He even slapped my shoulder in great humor. I couldn't keep the smile, and eventually a small chuckle, away.

We were headed towards...well fuck if i knew where we were headed, but i assumed it had food and a place to sit. "I guess I've kind of gotten over the whole near death thing," he continued from earlier, a crooked smirk crawling on his lips, a glint in his eye, "comes with experience."

"I'm sure it does," I mumbled weakly, moving my focus to the pavement, watching as each foot came in to view. Right, left, right, left...

I was almost killed by strange, perfect looking men in another strange man's apartment that I had just met not 12 hours ago.

Right, left, right...

When I should've been swimming the literal and figurative fishes, frozen at the bottom of a river...

Left, right...

Was death avoiding me? What a jerk.

"You okay Roxas?"

I was jolted out of my thoughts and jerked my head up to find Axel standing just a few feet in front of me, causing me to stop. I nearly knocked into him, but from a few feet away, I could still feel his heat. I looked up into those green, green eyes...

"Earth to Roxy, are you in there," he waved a hand in front of my face to get my attention. I shook my head to clear it.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking," I replied, putting a hand to my forehead to check if I had a fever or something. I felt like I was going to throw up all over his shoes.

"Be careful, don't hurt yourself now," he goaded. "Whoa...you look green." He took a careful step towards me, brushing my hand away with his own and feeling my forehead now. If anything, his touch made my skin hotter. He pressed his palm gently to my cheek, that familiar look of concern written on his brow.

I came back to my senses and took a step away from him, giving him my trademark scowl, "I'm fine."

His lips twitched downward for a second before flicking back up into a smirk, "Alright, it's time for mission 'Make Roxy Less of a Debbie Downer'!"

He marched forward once again, a new bounce in his step with a sense of purpose.I followed out of instinct.

"Debbie downer," I asked skeptically. When I got no answer I finally asked, "and how is that going to be accomplished?"

"Pancakes!"

"Pancakes?"

"Yes, my little ball of sunshine, pancakes are god's great gift to earth," he preached, face turned towards the sky, a look of higher knowledge about him. An air of importance and omnipotence filled him, which was completely ridiculous considering the fact that he was talking about fucking pancakes.

He reached out and took a firm hold of my hand, quite unexpectedly, fingers gently wrapping around mine, as he pulled me forward across the sidewalk at a quicker pace than before. A genuine grin stamped to his face, at the prospect of eating pancakes I assumed, as he hummed a silly tune. He was glowing, positively radiating some sort of inner furnace thing. He took long, wide strides which I had to run to keep up with. Damn being short.

"How far away is this place," I asked irritably.

"Just around the corner, sunshine!"

"Don't call me that," I grumbled.

He wasn't joking. We literally turned a corner and I found myself in an extremely familiar setting. A run down old coffee shop with long windows and booths set up next to them, a counter with stools behind the booths. We walked through the front door, the bell tingling as we entered. Axel lead me to the exact same table we had sat at last night where I had practically fainted from exhaustion.

A waitress, a different one this time, quite a bit younger, strolled over to us. She pulled a pad of paper and pen from her apron as she tucked her hair. She was chewing pink bubble gum. Uhg, I could smell the nasty stuff. It didn't help that she chomped on it loudly, mouth gaping open. Hip cocked at the ready, she blew a bubble and popped it before asking, "What can I get you two?"

"Two coffees and a plate of blueberry pancakes, please," Axel asked with a smile. The waitress looked up and met eyes with Axel.

She obviously knew him. "Oh well, hey there honey! It's been a while since I've seen you around! Still pounding down the carbs, you skinny asshole?"

Axel chuckled with her and they talked aimably for a few minutes about their lives and their current goings on. I hid behind a menu. Perhaps I could have stayed there all day without a soul noticing me-

"Well aren't you just a cute little thing!"

Nope. Not a chance. The waitress had turned on me now. I made the mistake of peaking up from my menu, which was the chance she needed to pluck it from my hands and set it on the table. Leaning in close to me, I could smell that sick pink bubblegum.

"This your little friend, Axel," she cooed sweetly, reaching out and ruffling my hair. I swatted her hand away like a small child, furiously trying to straighten my locks, which elicited great giggles from the two chuckle-fucks.

"Is that all you want," she asked, finally turning back to Axel, who nodded affirmatively. "Alright, I'll be back soon."

Axel stared straight into me for a few minutes until the waitress had disappeared into the back before he began talking. From his expression, I could tell this wasn't going to be a fun conversation. His eyes were hard and green. Just like emeralds.

"Can I asked you something Roxas?"

"Sure," I replied, dazed.

"Why did you try to jump?"

A million thoughts rushed through my head. I sat there staring blankly at him for a couple seconds until I regained my footing. He seemed completely serious, not like the joking Axel I had known...it was disconcerting. Still...I couldn't just tell him the truth. Could I? No one knows the truth. No one needs to know it. I'm not entirely sure I know it!

"I was angry."

Whoa, where did that come from?

"At what?"

"Everything," I replied, deflating intensely and sinking in to my chair. The words were eager to spill out of me like diarrhea. The waitress came back with our coffee, but noticed our conversation and left immediately, despite my silent pleas for her to stay. "Yesterday...was the day I finally told my friends and my twin brother that I'm...gay."

Axel nodded, pouring in spoonful after spoonful of sugar into his coffee and mixing it with a loud clamor. "So I'm assuming they didn't take it well?"

At that moment, everything just wanted to spill out of me. I knew I could've kept it in, not bothered him with my silly feelings...but that's what got me into this mess in the first place. so I let them go. "Hayner punched me in the gut and called me a faggot before walking away. Pence told me what a poor soul I was. Olette couldn't say anything."

"And your twin?"

"Well, he took it alright, but that's only because he's secretly in the closet himself and doesn't know it yet," I explained, reaching for my coffee and sipping at the scalding, black liquid. It seemed to wake me up immediately. "So he did the stupidest thing in the world and told my parents. Well, my dad went into a rampage and smacked me across the face while my mom just sat there and watched. Sora tried to make him stop, but he hit him too. He told me 'get out of my goddamn house, you fucking faggot! I never want to see your fucking face here again!' So that was that. I just left."

"And that's where I found you?"

I nodded, staring into the dark liquid, the surface wobbling under my unsteady hands.

"So you can't go back at all?"

"That's what I'm assuming," I replied, not looking up.

"You're welcome at my place for as long as you want," He offered. I looked up to confirm his sincerity. It was written all over him. "I'm not even joking, Rox. you can stay as long as you like."

"I couldn't do that to you, Axel," I moaned, turning my eyes to my cup as I crushed my own hopes. I was spectacularly good at this, but a lot of people were better at it than me. "I don't want to be a burden on you. I don't have a job or anything and I couldn't pay part of the rent-"

"It's no big deal," he cut me off, "we'll get that worked out later, but I don't want you living on the streets without a roof over your head."

I looked up once more to gauge how seriously sincere he was, to see if I could find any trace of regret or apprehension in his eyes. Strangely, there was absolutely none. "Why are you so nice to me, Axel? I mean, I just met you not even 24 hours ago and you're already offering a place for me to stay?"

"I've known you longer than 24 hours," was all he said, a smile gripped the corners of his lips, his eyes positively lighting up with some delicious hidden secret.

"Blueberry pancakes," The waitress said as she laid the plate down in front of Axel, bending over a bit more than was necessary for simply putting a plate on a table. Axel took the open invitation to oggle her cleavage. I rolled my eyes in embarrassment for him. When she straightened herself again, she turned to me and winked. "Want anything else, cutie pie?"

"I'm good," I replied, staring at the steaming stack of fried goods while Axel dug in without hesitation. Once she finally left, he poured syrup all over my pancakes. "Eat," he demanded, "they are so good here." I looked judgmentally at the breakfast food

My stomach did a few acrobatic tricks at the idea of sustenance. Still, I knew I had to eat something. It'd been way too long and Axel was probably the kind of guy who wouldn't let me leave without finishing my plate 'like a good boy' or something.

"It'll be a waste if you don't eat them before they cool down," he chimed into my thoughts, "Eat."

Carving at them slowly, I pushed a small triangle around my plate in the syrup. My mouth watered in anticipation but my stomach sunk into my legs at the smell. Down the hatch. A pleasant nostalgia washed over me as the fluffy cake dissolved on my tongue. My reluctant stomach was soon placated and actually eager to receive food. A warm blueberry squished between my teeth, its juices so tangy and sweet.

"Good, right?"

I nodded, mouth full of pancake.

"So is that it," he asked around a mouth full of food, "that's what drove you over the edge? You shouldn't let people get to you with that kind of thing. You have to learn to put up with people and their intolerances, otherwise you'll never get anything done no matter what you do. It's hard, and sometimes people need a good ass whooping. I fully endorse those."

"Are you...you're not-"I couldn't finish my sentence, a blush working its way on to my cheeks and making my whole face red.

He shrugged, understanding what I was getting at, "There's a big ocean out there, I'd like to catch every fish." He winked and took a sip of coffee

"So what happened to you? What were those guys talking about? Were you kicked out too?" My legs jiggled with curiosity.

"More or less," he replied, "well, I was kicked out for a lot of reasons, my boss and I didnt see eye to eye on...anything really! ha! Well, it wasn't such a big loss. I didn't like living where I was in the first place, so It really got me into doing a bunch of things to change my situation around for the better."

"Wow, you're pretty tough," I commented, "a lot of people I know would just give in. Like me," I stuffed another bite of pancakes in to my mouth, looking down at my plate, not wanting to meet his too green eyes. "Well, that wasn't just it. I wasn't doing too well in school, got picked on a lot, and my best friend namine just died last month."

"Ouch, from what," he asked.

"Leukemia," my voice broke at the end of that word. It was really hard to talk about her...in fact, this was really the first time I had even mentioned her to anyone since her death. Even Sora had never brought her up around me. It wasn't a fun topic.

"That's hard," Axel said, "You know you don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to."

"Can I ask _you_ something, Axel?"

"Of course you can, Rox," he replied, a genuine smile on his face.

"Why were those men in your house trying to kill you?"

His eyes widened and he froze for a moment before slouching into his seat, rubbing the back of his neck and looking off into random corners of the hole-in-the-wall diner. "Whoa, that's a hard one! Well, they weren't really trying to kill me, just trying to good-cop-bad-cop me or something. All I can really tell you is that they wanted something from me...something I couldn't give them."

"Why not," I asked, genuinely curious, seeing as how this slightly concerned me since they had threatened to kill me as well. I figured I had a right to know _some_thing.

"Cuz I don't have it! hahaha! Dumb bastards!" He slapped his knee, having himself a hoot and a half. I laughed with him. Huh, that was the first laugh I'd had since the...almost accident. My perspective of life was thrown in sharp light by these simple thoughts. Everything was before or after. Firsts and lasts.

When he calmed down he continued, "Well it's more like they want me to do something for them and I'm currently trying to make amends with the people they really hate so that kind of made them a bit mad," he explained vaguely, scratching the side of his head in thought, "and since I couldn't do what they wanted me to do, they resorted to assholery."

"Where were they trying to take you," I asked. What I assumed to be a fairly innocent question was apparently not so, as Axel turned stiff and stopped mid bite. His face was dancing with emotions. First apprehension, then a near wide eyed fear, followed by a moment of repose and a deep breath. He collected himself and stared hard at me. It felt like his eyes were physically wading through my soul.

He sighed dramatically before shrugging his shoulders in surrender, "I can't tell you that, Roxas."

"What are you?"

* * *

><p><em>Well? Review for an old lady like me?<em>


	4. Room Full of People In Your Head

_Eeh he he! It's getting good! Last chapter was where the old story left off. This is all new content! enjoy!_

* * *

><p>"I can't tell you that."<p>

I gave Axel a heavy look. The silence thickened around us.

"Need anything honeys?" the waitress chimed in with impeccable timing.

"Just the check please, thanks." Axel smiled at her.

I sat back in my chair, gazing out the windows while he fished out his wallet. I lost myself in the misty morning streets, mostly empty but for quick moving business people. People who had things to do that day...what was I doing? I hadn't really made plans for after I died. I thought that kind of stuff was just taken care of for you, right? Well, so far things were going that way, since I hadn't had to do a damn thing for a good 24 hours. Thanks to this...guardian angel? yea right. Still...it's been a nice reprieve, although kind of hectic.

I was pulled out of thought when a few unmentionable individuals crossed my field of vision. Pence, Hayner, Olette. God dammit.

I tensed up. Of course, they were headed right for the door.

I curled in on myself, trying to appear as small as I could, which Axel obviously noted right away. He gave me a look, in which I knew he was saying "what's up with _you_?" He made to turn around to see what I was freaking out over, but I kicked him to get his attention. "Ow, what the hell?!"

I shook my head vigorously. He shook his in defiance.

The trio walked into the restaurant just as Alex turned his head and I turned into a pile of jelly. The waitress was talking to them. Oh god. They were getting a booth. Oh good god. Here they come…

"Oh...Hey Roxas," Olette said, stopping by our table, holding up the line one by one. Her half wave was pitiful at best. It made me feel worse.

With my stomach in my throat, I managed a strangled, "Hi."

Hayner, suddenly realizing who he was stopped in front of, adopted the ugliest expression of arrogant contempt. He assessed the situation, saw Axel and I, together, alone, at a restaurant, and merely extrapolated the obvious. Though it wasn't fucking true!

"Ohh, so this is him, huh?" I wanted to punch the sounds he made straight back into his throat. "The guy that 'turned' you, right? He's a lot older than I expected."

"Shut up Hayner," I argued weakly.

He continued like he hadn't heard me. Turned to Axel now he continued, "You like little boys, huh, that it? That's fucked up faggots for you right there."

Axel rushed up and seized Hayner by the back of his head, gripping hair so that their faces were uncomfortably close together. Hayner could only look at him in surprised pain, mouth gaping open in pain. His hair started to singe right off his skin! That nasty smell of burning follicles and flesh.

Axel spoke to him calmly and slowly. "You should watch your mouth. You have a bad attitude. I'd suggest you change it otherwise you won't make any friends."

He let him go abruptly, pushing Hayner back onto a barstool, where he slumped in shocked stupor. Axel grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Roxy and I have some stuff to take care of. Have a nice day." He slung his arm around my shoulder and steered me towards the door, my numb legs too dumb to do anything but follow.

As the door opened to the restaurant and the cool wind slapped my face, the adrenaline in me dropped away. I filled my lungs with a fresh breath and everything felt so much better. Cleaner. Different. Spinning. Oh god, the sick rose in my throat and spilled onto the sidewalk.

* * *

><p>A few paper towels and a bottle of water later, I was sitting with my head between my knees at a kid's playground that was right around the corner in the park. Two little girls were playing on the swings, one guy in a business suit, working on a notepad, watching over them.<p>

The girls came over to me.

"Hey, you feeling okay?"

I looked up at them, hand on my forehead, death on my face, and said quite honestly, "No, but I will be."

They smiled and rubbed my back for a second, saying, "Feel better!"

They ran off, laughing and playing again.

Axel was smiling, standing by a tree, smoking a cigarette. Putting it out, he came over to me. "That sure was nice of them," he said almost nostalgically. His green eyes held a depth I hadn't seen before, fogged over with a mist of wonder. I nodded. He sat down.

"Axel," I started, unsure of the sturdiness of my words. They felt alright. "I'm sorry about that whole fiasco in there."

"No, don't worry about it," he smiled at me.

"But what he said wasn't cool at all," I began, but I was interrupted by him.

"I forgive him."

"Huh?"

"I forgive him," Axel said like I was stupid.

"What, just like that?" I asked, incredulous. "You seemed pretty pissed back there. He was a total asshole."

"Yeah, he was a total asshole," Axel agreed, nodding his head slowly, his eyes trailing off to watch the girls at a rowdy game of tag, their father looking in our direction a bit suspiciously since our interaction with them. Axel gave him a friendly wave as they locked eyes. "But I forgive him," he said, turning to me, "plus, I got to rough him up a bit. Eh, no harm no foul! But the only way people can really hurt you is if you decide to let them. Everything you feel, you choose to. Every second of every day is a new chance to choose something different. I chose forgiveness."

I stared at him in awe.

"Are you really an angel?"

"Ha, nah," he wrapped me under his arm in a headlock, giving me a noggie, "I'm no angel. But I sure as hell am your guardian angel!"

I escaped his grip, furiously fixing my hair. He winked at me.

As usual, I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

* * *

><p>Feeling better, Axel decided to drag me to a shopping mall after this infuriating conversation:<p>

Axel said, "Lets go to your house and grab your stuff so you don't have to stay there for a while."

I replied, "Uh...no?"

Axel furrowed his eyebrows, "No, Yes."

I gave up, "I...have nothing left to go back for."

"Whaddya mean?" he crossed his arms.

"They...my dad...threw my stuff out in the rain." I replied.

"Well that won't do at all."

So there we were, building me a whole new life. Reconstruction is a bitch. My arms were loaded with thrift store clothes, basic essentials; soap, toothbrush, ect, and a pillow. Apparently having my own pillow was of crucial importance. "You'll see what I mean," was all he said.

As we passed by the cafeteria, I stopped in my tracks. Axel did a 180 spin and stopped next to me, resting his arm on my shoulder and looking at the cafeteria with me. "Can we get some seal salt ice cream?" I asked softly.

"It's like 40 degrees out-"

"Please."

He sized me up, then down, and shrugged his shoulders. He ordered us two seal salt ice creams and we sat down looking out the windows at the sleeting rain.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, staring at me while I stared at the swirling leaves.

"It's just that its kinda weird to be eating ice cream in November."

I was silent.

"Not that I don't love freezing on the inside _and_ the outside at the same time," he droled on, not really trying to make his point, "but if some one asked me why I was eating ice cream...in november...I wouldn't be able to give them an answer….and that's a damn shame."

I threw him a look he shrunk away from. I sighed into my lap and came clean, "My brother and I ate these all the time...no matter what weather."

"Don't talk about him like he's gone unless you plan on really losing him," Axel stated.

"I didn't say that," I spat at him, "he was taken from me. By unfair assholes."

"He's not really gone, you know," Axel started calmly, unaffected by my bad attitude, "it's not like hes dead. Hell, you could have a chance to get him back right this very second."

"Don't be stupid," I rolled my eyes at him, taking a bite of my ice cream

A voice came from behind me that almost made me swallow the whole popscile. It said, "Hey Roxas."

I turned around to my brother, my twin, Sora! I leapt to my feet and we hugged each other good and hard. Pulling away, I saw the relief in his blue eyes that reflected mine. We were both okay. Despite a few nasty bruises, sora's being right across his left eye. It had swelled up pretty nicely.

"Yikes," Axel broke in, noticing the same time I did, "Nice shiner."

"Aha, yeah, wrestled a bear," Sora said, rubbing the back of his head, "You think this is bad, you should see the bear! Hi I'm Sora," he stuck out his hand and Axel took it, "nice to meet ya! I'm this dumbass's brother."

"It's an honor to meet you, Roxas has told me so much about you," Axel said, making some serious eye contact with Sora in the process. Sora seemed unfazed, but I noticed it…

Axel stood up and asked Sora if he wanted to join us for a sea salt icecream, on him. He would love to, of course. Sora and I sat down together. I was eager to catch up on what was going on at home.

"How's mom?"

"As well as can be expected," he said somberly, "she's shook up and pretty quiet. I think she's on your team, but you know how Dad gets. How are you?"

"I'm...alright." I nodded at my affirmation. Yeah, I did feel alright, for the first time in a long time. "And you?"

"I'm good, Dad basically ignores me, which is just fine," he shrugged in defeat, "that old asshole is set in his way. Mom and I are making some cookies for her girl scout league's campfire this weekend."

"What kind of cookies," I asked feveredly. Mom's cookies, there are none like them. I was drooling already.

"Peanut butter oatmeal butterscotch cookies," he said seductively.

"Oh don't stop," I begged.

"And some snickerdoodles for the girls who cant eat peanutbutter," he whispered, making womanly hourglass figures with his hands, "shaped like this cuz you know you want them! Oh wait, I mean this, you like this," he moved his hands up and down like he was jerking off.

I punched his arm hard and we laughed a long time. It felt good to be back with somebody who really knew me and still loved me despite that.

Axel came back with another sea salt ice cream and we froze in our little corner of the world, talking about video games, and everything was normal again.

Then-

* * *

><p>-Hey, I'm gunna need you to do me a favor.<p>

Why do I trust those words? Don't they always somehow lead young main characters into ridiculously sticky situations by someone merely saying them? But still, what do you say when a friend asks you for a favor, no? No. Especially not when they buy you a whole new wardrobe. And a pillow, that was increasingly haunting my subconscious. What does he mean, "you'll see?"

Anyways, that is how I came to be standing outside in the sweeping sleet in front of a tall, wooden, red gate. It was too high to see over and Axel opened it oh so carefully, thwarting my peeking efforts.

"Uhg what the hell," I moaned into the wind, shaking my legs to keep warm, Ice cream melting in my stomach. He was right about the freezing inside and out. Felt good to me. That's what i'd be doing right now at the bottom of a river if it weren't for him. Still wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Come on Axel, what is taking so long!" It had been about 20 minutes, so I felt utterly justified yelling this to the snow.

"No peeking, no! Bad Roxy," He scolded when I had eagerly tried to follow him inside. "Just stand outside and wait for a guy in a red coat and tell him to turn off his oven."

"Turn off his oven?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"How do you know his oven is on?"

He winked at me, "Magic!"

And disappeared behind the doors.

So there I was, basically being a doorman for whatever super secret thing Axel just had to do. Telling me to tell people secret codes. How suspicious can you get?

Just as I was about to give up and try the doors, a figure appeared out of the mist. Squinting, I could see he had a long, red and black trenchcoat on, a red scarf covering most of his face, body bent into the wind. He was coming my way. Was this the guy?

Once he was 3 feet from me I said, "Hey, you uh...should turn off your oven."

He stopped. Cocked his head to the side, looked me up and down, then opened the gate directly in front of me without a word. He swooshed inside. In a moment of panic, I leapt in after him, not eager to stand in that weather any longer.

I clung to the gate wall, trying not to be seen. The man walked straight ahead and into a...garden? It wasn't cold here at all. The grass was lush and green, the trees were over ripe with fruit, the air was warm enough without being too hot. Perfect summer.

It was still a bit gloomy inside the garden, as if the clouds played some rule in this bizarre place. I slipped into a wall of trees. The garden was thick and mostly overgrown just about everywhere. Vines hung from the gate and a fence overhang structure that lead to the center, covering most of the garden in a plant ceiling. I followed it, being careful not to be seen.

"ah fr bushr fighting, I don't think we need to worry," a voice was getting clearer. I crept closer, hidden by a large boxwood plant just outside of a circular structure the fence made, like a little room, where a table and chairs were set up.

"I know you don't agree with me, but you'll see soon enough," Axel's voice, I knew it. "I can see the redemption all over his face."

"Things don't always turn out as planned," a much harder sounding voice retorted. It knew things I didn't...I could feel it in my bones. His tone when he spoke was mystical, ancient, it made me feel like a baby.

A sigh, Axel. "Plan B?"

"There is no plan B."

"I understand," He breathed, I could hear him pacing a bit. Then suddenly, "I'd better go, I'm keeping someone waiting."

Just as quickly as he said it, he was headed for the gate door. Frantically, I raced through the bushes and the trees. Whipping aside branches like a madman, one of them smacked me in the face. I tripped over my own two feet and landed on my back staring up at the vine ceiling.

Axel came into my view horizontally.

"You are in so much trouble."

* * *

><p><em>And the plot thickens! <em>


	5. Please Remain Calm

"Hey! ow ow ow OW!"

Axel dragged me to the front gate by my ear, pinching with a death grip, marching purposely forward. "Oh man, the things I'm gunna do to you yet. Your pain has only begun," he purred. Spiteful bastard! What had I done?!

He opened the gate and tossed me outside into the blustering storm that had kicked into high gear during our absence. I caught myself from falling into the mud. "Whats the big deal," I yelled, rubbing my tender ear, "Who was that guy?! Why are you acting all secretive? I have to give you my life story but its all locked doors and curtains for Axel?!"

"I asked you to stay put!" He countered, pinching my nose hard and pulling me forward, "No Peaking. What is so difficult about that?"

"I was curious," I whined through my plugged nose, sounding like a sick nerd.

"Yea well, let's remember what that ended up killing," he let me go and poked my forehead in a tease. "Wouldn't want kitty Roxy being swallowed up by any monsters now."

As if on cue, a hard arm rammed into my stomach and suddenly I was off my feet. The wind was knocked out of me and rushed past my ears. Everything was swallowed up by a swirling black vortex.

I could still hear Axel, faintly, screaming.

* * *

><p>The blackness curled away from us in tendrils like smoke. A landscape opened up before me, a dark and damp world permeated by a sense of rot.<p>

I was thrown to the dirt, which also smelled like it was rotting somehow. I tried to pull myself to my knees, get my face out of the foul dirt, but I was kicked in the stomach and collapsed back down.

Rough hands yanked my arms behind my back and tied them securely, painfully, with scratchy rope. "What the hell!" I yelled, spitting dirt out of my mouth.

"Shut up," the voice snapped, grabbing me by my arms and setting me on my feet. My shoulders reared in pain. Finally face to face with my captor, I realized it was the same guy with the eyepatch I'd seen before in Axel's apartment.

"Xigfart!" I shouted in recognition.

He punched me in the face.

"What the hell man, that is your name, right?" I asked, moving my nose around to test if it was broken. It wasn't. Just a split lip. He'd held back.

"It's XigBAR you runt," he spat at the ground by my feet. He would've hit my feet had I not been quick enough.

"Gross," I said quietly. A realization was dawning on me. He wasn't holding me down at all…

I broke into a sprint.

Running in the opposite direction as fast as I could, hands still tied behind my back. I could hear Xigbar laughing behind me. Trying to find my way through this dark, damned terrain was not easy. Everything was weird and unfamiliar. The very air that rushed in and out of my lungs tasted different somehow. The sky was constantly overcast, purple where it wasn't completely black or gray. If it rained, I'd bet it'd be acid rain.

Trying to find some place to go, some kind of exit, maybe another swirling black vortex, I stumbled blindly through this unfamiliar land. It stretched on over rocky outcrops, a few craters and caves here and there. I decided to hide in one of them while I knew that goon would be looking for me. He looked too big and beefy to outrun for very long, maybe I could outsmart him. He didn't seem like he had all the lights on upstairs.

I caught my breath, crouching in a cave, listening for footsteps or shouts. None came, so I tried to find a sharp rock to cut myself free-

"Boo!"

"AHH!" I screamed in surprise. The big goon was hovering upside down, like a monkey, right by the entrance to the cave.

He put himself right side up and punched me in the gut. "You aren't being a very good boy," he chided, throwing me over his shoulder, "Try to behave, man."

He sounded like a straight up Dude.

A vortex was suddenly swirling about us again.

* * *

><p>This time, we were indoors.<p>

The ceiling stretched high above us, at least 30 feet. It was all white and gray, shimmering and ethereal, almost as if it was a mirage. Like it didn't exist.

"Welcome to Castle Oblivion, or I should say, your oblivion," Xigbar announced, dropping me to the floor yet again.

"You'd be a terrible UPS guy," I spat haggardly.

He gave a hearty laugh and kicked me in the stomach again. "I don't see the word 'fragile' written on you anywhere," he said with a grin, "except maybe your face. You got the face of a pansy."

"And you have the face of a goon! A subordinate, a sheep carrying out the orders-" Another kick to the gut.

"Aye, you don't get to say poignant things, alright kid," He scolded, grabbing me by the wrists and pulling me up once again. "You just keep your pretty pansy mouth shut, or else."

His history of violence spoke for the validity of his threat.

He poked me in the back with a very fancy looking gun, covered in all kinds of crazy diamonds. They looked like bullets or arrows. They shimmered fantastically. I started walking in the direction he pointed, down a long, narrow hallway.

There were several doors on either side and I had half a mind to try and open one and lock him out, but that was a stupid plan. Who knew what was on the other side of that door? Plus he can just pop up anywhere. And this place seems like home to him.

A few of the doors had numbers on them in roman numerals. V, VI, VII...It was the VIII that caught my attention for some reason. I stopped in front of it.

Xigbar, noticing my fascination with the door, laughed a little. "You're very perceptive, aren't you?"

"Huh," was my dignified response, being pulled from my stupor of concentration. What was this feeling? If I started hard enough maybe it would make itself clear to me-

"Or you're just plain stupid," He goaded, prodding me with his gun again, "c'mon keep walkin'. Nothin' behind that door anyway."

There was a loss in his voice.

We kept walking to the end of the hall, where it turned right and opened up to a short hall with only one door at the end. The placard above it said "Observatory." Were we going to go star gazing?

Xigbar held out his hand, palm facing the door, and it _whooshed_open. What felt like a cavern was revealed to us. It was a spooky kind of dark, where you can just make out the shape of the room, but no details. I could barely see a man sitting in a chair off to the right. The figure stood up and walked toward us.

As he got closer, his identity was revealed. The short gray hair was unmistakable.

"Ah, our guest has arrived," he said.

"I feel more like a prisoner," I snapped, throwing him my fiercest scowl to try and throw off how uneasy I felt. The dark was not something I ever grew to like.

"Perhaps our invitation was not well received," He continued, "but you are our guest in this Castle."

"Maybe your invitation was not well sent," I yelled at him, "normal people usually send nice cards with pictures on them, and an RSVP at the end. I didn't really have much of a choice. More of a...oh I dunno...kidnapping? Yea I feel like it was a _kidnapping_."

"Cut him free, Xigbar," the gray haired man commanded.

The ropes were sliced so quick it made me jump. I rubbed my wrists tenderly, turning around and sticking my tongue out at Xigbar. He pointed a finger in my face, as if to say "Watch it, you!"

"Please believe me when I say we have the best intentions-"

"Uh, no," I cut him off.

He continued flawlessly, "Please have a seat over there and we'll get started." He had motioned to the chair sitting off to the right, shrouded in darkness.

I looked at him, at the chair, back at him, "Dont you have any lights you can turn on," I asked nervously. Remembering myself, and trying to appear unafraid, I came back with, "You know, set the mood a little."

"Do not be afraid," the man said, almost reading my mind, "we have no desire to hurt you."

I scoffed at that, Xigbar chuckled a little. "Well I did," the big goon said.

I walked tentatively towards the chair, testing each foot in the darkness, maybe for traps or holes or...something worse. Xigbar stayed by the door. The gray haired man followed me. When I sat down, he stood across from me, arms folded.

"My name is Zexion," he began, "and you are in my Observatory. It is where I can see and read into the universe, which part I pick or it as a whole. What I'm going to do with you is see into your life span, your soul if you will, and get a reading on your destiny. It should be painless."

"_Should_be," I intoned, "That doesn't sound as harmless as you want it to be."

"Do you have any questions before we begin," He asked, placing his palms together in a prayer like way.

"Uhm, yea, like a million," I began, absolutely frustrated no one had asked me that before.

"There'll be time for that after," He said quickly, suddenly placing his palms on the sides of my face.

Everything vibrated. It shimmered, like the castle, like Xigbar's weapon, like none of it was real somehow. It all started to melt together, the ions of everything flowing and becoming one great, horrible vibrating mass. It vibrated inside of my skull, I could feel my gray matter turning into slush, melting and flowing with everything else in the room, in the castle, in all of existence.

I threw up.

Right onto Zexion's shoes.

Coughing, spitting up vile, everything was settling back into its respective outlines of regular, solid mass. My stomach was having trouble doing the same. I kept wretching for a good minute.

When I felt better, I looked up at Zexion, ready to yell at him, but his expression caught me off guard. He was breathing all rough, sitting on the floor and holding his hands to his head, his eyes were somewhere else completely.

I sat up straight and kept looking at him, trying to follow his eyes, maybe see where they'd gone.

He snapped back, looking at me with something entirely unreadable. He whispered, "I don't know."

"Whaddya mean you don't know," Xigbar shouted from across the room, arms folded over his chest like a glorified security guard.

Zexion stood up, shaking his shoes, a look of disgust on his face, "I just don't know, alright?! Nothing was clear. Well at least you threw up like everybody else."

"What on God's green earth just happened to me," I shouted, standing up from the chair. Xigbar flashed behind me in an immeasurably short time, his firm hand slapped onto my shoulder and forced me back in the chair.

"You're wrong about the God's green earth part," Xigbar laughed behind me. His voice trembled through his hand and into my body. It made me feel a little sick again.

"I tried to look at your destiny, you soul," Zexion's breathing was a still a little hard but his composer was coming back. The color in his face, what little he'd had, was flushing again. "But I couldn't get a clear picture. Normally people have pretty clear pictures, although they change every now and then. Yours...it was like you weren't even supposed to be alive."

"Tell me about it," I groaned. That was my life these past couple of days. It certainly did feel like limbo.

"Perhaps you _are_the one he's looking for," Zexion mumbled, mostly to himself.

"What do you mean," I asked.

He looked at me, perplexed, "You mean...what has he told you?"

I scowled and rolled my eyes at the thought of that big dummy, "absolutely nothing."

"Playing it safe," Xigbar said, "Ignorance is bliss. Though I'm sure if he's lying to us, I could get some information out of him." His hand tightened its grip on my shoulder. I tensed in fear at what he was suggesting. Torture?

"No," Zexion waved his hand at the goon, "he really doesn't know anything. A boy without any picture obviously doesn't have a clue. He was a damned soul, now lost."

"I'm a who what?!"

"No picture...at all?" Xigbar loosened his grip, even he seemed a little put off.

"This may be hard for you to believe, but Axel isn't a good guy," Zexion explained, conjuring up a chair out thin air and sitting down on it, exhausted. I filed that little tidbit of information under my What-The-Fuck folder in my brain and listened to him intently. "He used to work, and live, here. With us. We have a plan for setting the world free from Judgement and receiving Salvation."

"At the cost of what," I asked, raising an eyebrow. He said they weren't the good guys.

"No cost," he started, then stopped. Thought for a second, and continued, "more like a trade. Everyone on earth would sacrifice their lineage to _Him_and become one of us. Free from the control of a supreme overlord, with destinies we can shape and bend to our will."

"Free will," I countered, "we have free will, we do what we want every day. You just said you couldn't see my destiny, probably because I have the free will to change it every day."

"That's what you think," Xigbar scoffed. He was looking off towards the door, obviously focused on something else.

Zexion noticed this and sat a little straighter. Alert. "Normal humans' destinies are set in stone from the time you're very small. Minor changes occur every day, sure, but thats just the probability of a billion stabilized destinies interacting with each other, there has to be some leeway given. Otherwise paradoxes would form. You're a bit of one yourself, I think. A human without a destiny what so ever. A damned soul. A lost child. Basically food for the heartless. I wonder why Axel is so intrigued with you, you don't fill out any of the requirements for the Kokoro."

"Koko...ro?"

"Its an old japanese term for 'pure of heart', what is deemed to be the most pure being in human form, a sort of Angel," Zexion informed, his palms together again as Xigbar stalked towards the door.

"Is Axel an angel," I asked, suddenly remembering all his silly banter.

Zexion raised an eyebrow. A smile almost drew across his face. Xigbar must've been to distracted to laugh. "What do you think?"

**Comments are love.**


	6. Meet Me Wehere You're Going

**Cliffhangers resolved. Some fluffy fluff involved. **

**Quite a bit longer too.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>At that moment, the door burst open. Zexion was on his feet, a spell lacing around his lips, a book had appeared in his hands. The words seemed to almost materialize, like an invisible shimmering. That unreal shimmering.<p>

I tried to jump from my seat, but realized I had been tied there! When did Xigbar even-

"You stupid bastard don't lie to me!"

It was Axel's voice! He had come for me! How did he even get here? Was it like Zexion said, was he on their team? Who was I really trusting?

He was locked, blade to blade, with the pink haired man I had seen before, Marluxia. Xigbar launched a couple bullets that hit Axel right in the stomach. He slid back a few feet but held his ground, gritting his teeth, his eyes almost on fire with rage. His hair looked like it was dancing around his head in wild flames.

"Ah Axel, so good of you to join us," Zexion called to him, standing right between Axel and I, blocking our view of each other, "and you're back to your old self. How ferocious."

"Shut the hell up you creep," He spat, "where is he?!"

"Tell him," Marluxia yelled at Zexion and Xigbar, "Tell him you have no _Idea_ what he's talking about! He's crazy! You're the one who said not to hold hostages, Zexion. If he thinks we would betray you-"

"Oh, no, Marluxia," Zexion explained calmly, "It was I, in fact, who was betraying you."

Marluxia, wide eyed, looked over at the gray haired man. Then me. His face contorted in an ugly mask of rage, "What's going on here?!"

Zexion's fingers traced over the words on the page of his book, though he wasn't looking down at them. He seemed to be able to read the words effortlessly, mouthing whatever incantation it held. "Sorry Marluxia, I just couldn't trust you to get the job done."

"But you can trust _Xigbar_!?"

"Ouch, man," Xigbar chimed in.

"You must understand," Zexion remained calm, seeming to speak to them and recite his spell at the same time, "It worked. Here he is. Of his own free will."

"Hardly," Axel and I said together. At that, his eyes finally found me. Relief and extreme worry crossed his expression.

Zexion released his spell and bound Axel in a tight constricting cocoon of what appeared to be just pure magic. It was dazzling. And horrifying. The life was literally being squeezed from Axel as he was lifted several feet in the hair, Zexion's lips moving at an astonishing speed.

Xigbar took the opportunity to capture Marluxia in a strangle hold. He whispered to him, something I couldn't hear, but it seemed to calm the pink haired man down just a bit. I struggled to my feet amidst the commotion. This was super difficult with the chair strapped to me. I managed to hobble over to Zexion and launch myself at his back, knocking him down.

The strangle hold on Axel was released and, in an amount of time utterly immeasurable, smaller than seconds, I was whisked away from Zexion and set down in the corner. My hands were suddenly free. I sat on the chair, dumbfounded.

In another heartbeat, Axel's face was right in front of mine, looking me over for damage. He opened my eyelids, felt my forehead, looked at my rope burned wrists. He shook his head, "I'm so sorry Roxas." He ran his thumb over my cut lip. It burned! I winced and he drew back, almost afraid, like he had hurt me himself. "All of this is my fault."

"No-" before I could say anything else, a cyth was around his neck, a gun pointed at my head. This was starting to become a rather unwanted routine.

* * *

><p>Our hands both tied behind our backs, Axel and I were being escorted through the castle to something called the Meeting Room? And by escorting, I mean being led at gun point.<p>

"You're taking Roxas to see _him_, aren't you?" Axel asked.

"Shut up," Xigbar said, hitting him upside the head with the hilt of his gun.

"Don't!" I screamed at him. Axel was trying to rub his head with his bound hands. There was blood. A feeling rose up so strong inside of me I thought It was going to jump out of my throat and kill all these guys! I tried to swallow the growing sensation, but nothing helped.

"Don't worry about me, Roxas," Axel said softly, smiling at me, "they won't do anything to me. Or you."

"How...do you know," I asked, choking back this urging feeling inside me.

He must've seen the doubt and confusion in my face because he told me, "Trust me."

"How?"

"Alright in ya go," Xigbar herded Axel towards the door that said VIII on it. Something jerked my heart. "You're getting a time out before we deal with your shit."

"What," I asked, my voice cracking, almost hysterical for some reason. "No, he's coming with us."

"Uh, no he ain't," Xigbar said, opening the door and roughly shoving Axel inside.

"Roxas, don't worry, everything will be o-" The door zipped closed in front of me.

A well of hysterics bubbled up inside of me. I broke down, falling to my knees by the door, pounding on it as best I could with my bound hands, tears pouring down my face. I couldn't take the abandonment. He had come for me. He was the only person on my team, the only one who wanted me to be safe. I trusted him...without even realizing I had done so. I was terrified of what lay ahead of me in this horrible castle. I could not, I _would_ not, face it without him!

"Get up," Xigbar commanded, pointing his gun at me. I refused to listen, screaming and pounding at the door. Xigbar kicked me in the side and I fell to the floor.

"Would you knock that off," Zexion scolded the big goon, "I'd prefer him in working condition. You never know what _he_ will say about him."

This feeling, the one surging through me with intense urgency, the one I couldn't control anymore, burst from within in a violent, white light that sent Xigbar, Marluxia and Zexion all flying away from me. The ropes dematerialized from my wrist, my right hand burned feverishly. Painfully. I was nearly screaming with the pressure of whatever energy was building up in my right hand. All the white light focused there, became so dense!

Make it stop!

With a great shimmering _pop! s_omething burst into existence in my hand. I was gripping a….blade? A Key? What the hell?

"Holy fuck," I heard Xigbar mutter from where he'd been thrown.

"He's a blade master!?" Marluxia shouted, reaching for his cyth. Zexion's jaw dropped to the floor.

Instinctively, I whirled around and sliced the air with the large hunk of metal in my hands. A brilliant flash of light cut everything in two, like a wave of energy, sent towards the three men in black. It knocked them off their feet again, Xigbar smacked his head on the ground so hard, he lost consciousness.

Tears were pouring from my face, I had no idea what was going on.

I turned to the door where Axel lay just behind. I put out my palm, imitating what I'd seen them do. It slide open in front of me and I ran into the room, the door closing and locking behind me.

Axel swooped me up into him arms, tucking my head into his chest and crouching over me to protect me from anything or anyone.

After a moment of laying in his embrace, he started to let go, understanding that they weren't coming for us, for whatever reason. I let the blade slip from my hand, it made a terrible clang with the floor. Axel was looking at it in awe before it shimmered, just like everything else in this wretched place, and disappeared. His jaw dropped just like Zexion's.

"Roxas, what did you-"

"Ill kill the kid!" Came a thunderous roar from the other side of the door.

"No time," Axel muttered. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the open window. "We gatta jump."

"What?!" I yelled in disbelief, yanking myself free of his grip. I looked down at the, oh I don't know, 20 story drop! He was insane!

"They disabled my ability to teleport within the castle, we have to get outside the castle before I can take us home. If we just jump out the window, I'm pretty sure it'll work-" He explained, putting one foot on the balcony tentatively, staring at the void below us as well.

"Pretty sure?! We'll die!"

"Trust me," Axel implored, reaching his hand out to me, the pounding on his bedroom door growing louder, a couple of dents visible. It sounded as if Xigbar had even started shooting at it. I looked back at Axel, his eyes pleading and beautiful.

I put my hand in his and we jumped.

Wrapping one arm tightly around me, the distance between the ground and us was closing fast. My heart was in my throat, the wind screamed in my ears. I couldn't help but think back to when I had planned my first jump, so long ago. So far away. A black vortex was growing at Axel's feet, almost as if he was standing perfectly on solid ground. In another moment, we were swallowed by the darkness. I clung to him tighter.

* * *

><p>Cold, out of breath, and having landed in a big ass puddle, I did not let go of Axel. My fingers were locked onto him in vices while I shivered like a chihuahua inside his black coat. We were sitting on the ground, both of us huddled together, breathing hard at our narrow escape.<p>

I shifted nervously, trying to test if i'd crapped my pants. A reasonable assumption after jumping out of a 20 story window with no guarantee of survival. My heart pounding was the only thing I could hear. Axel's hand softly stroked my hair.

Eventually, I was able to come back to my wits. Still, I didn't want to let go of this warmth in the midst of the storm that was brewing around us. Axel broke into my thoughts, "Come on, your teeth are gunna chatter right out of your skull. Lets go get warm."

His arm around my waist, Axel helped me stand up and we began walking. "Where are we going to go?"

He heaved a huge sigh before replying, "I have a friend we can stay with until they trash my apartment looking for us."

"Is there hot chocolate there," I implored so sweetly.

He chuckled softly, "Yea, there's hot chocolate there."

I didn't let go of him the entire walk.

* * *

><p>"Oh sweet baby jesus, get your little butts in here and out of that rain! Trying to catch your death twice over?"<p>

"Haha very funny." Axel retorted. A lanky, mulleted guy, closer to Axel's age than mine, opened the baby blue door we had knocked on. Apartment number 9. He ushered us inside, closing the storm behind us. Dashing off to some part of his place, the blonde had returned with towels for us. They were warm. Fresh out of the dryer.

I shed my layer of soaking wet jacket and eagerly wrapped myself in the towel.

"Oh my _god_! Axel, where did you find this adorable little thing?!" The man squealed, rather much like a ferocious fan girl, grabbing the towel and giving me a fiercely passionate rub down. "He looks like a little kitten!"

"Ahem, Demyx, this is Roxas," Axel introduced us while Demyx played with strands of my hairs and I swatted at his fingers. "Roxas, this is my best and oldest friend, Demyx."

"Oh jesus Axel, don't say it like that," He moaned, poking the red head in the side, "makin' me sound like an old man! Although when you think about it…"

"Aha, lets save the age jokes for later, alright," Axel implored, a little too suggestively. Apparently it was a code since Demyx got the hint and nodded.

The scrawny man's attention returned to me. "So how did you two lovebirds meet?"

"We're not lovebirds!" Axel and I said together. We looked at each other, then away.

Demyx laughed uproariously. "Can I call 'em or what!"

"Or what is a good question," I retorted

Lifting an eyebrow, Demyx shot me an amused look, "Oooh, the boy's got comebacks. I'm impressed."

"Thanks," I replied, a little bit too cocky for my own good.

"I was talking to Axel, sweetie," He shot back, ruffling my hair.

"Ah, Goddammit!" I shouted at him, trying in vain to fix my utterly soaking hair. This elicted a laugh from both of the older males.

Axel was shedding his coat now too, patting himself dry, when Demyx noticed the rest of us was soaked too. He took our coats and hung them up over a heater he had in the living room. "Well, it's been a long while since i've had your company Axel, I hope you know I'm always pleased to entertain you and...any guests you might have. So long as they aren't the unsavory kind." Turning to me he said, "Are you the unsavory kind, Roxas?"

"Sweet as sugar," I replied, "Thank you very much for your hospitality."

"He's like a sour patch kid actually," Axel chimed in, "Sweet, but look out."

Demyx chuckled while I shot the red head a glare. "At any rate," The mullet-man continued, "your soaking clothes won't do, I'll go grab you some clean ones and you guys can change in my room. Sorry, but you'll be sleeping on the pull out couch."

"Are you kidding," Axel said, "That couch is like a god-send! I dunno where you picked up a glorious fold out like that!"

"Fifth dimensional Nebuloid 9 was having a sale on sleepware of all species-" He started, but after looking at my perplexed face, he merely laughed and began gathering clothes for us.

Axel and I filed into his room with our towels while he laid out some extra pajamas for us and left us to our devices.

I pulled my shirt over my head, finally understanding how sore i was, and reached for the fresh one that looked about 2 sizes too big for me. While Demyx was small, he was still way taller than me. He was going to get a laugh out of this.

"Roxas," I suddenly heard Axel say, sorrow in his tone. I looked up at his face, contorted by worry, "Sit down on the bed."

"Uh, why?" I asked, confused, "what's wrong?"

"I'm just going to check and make sure you're okay," he said empathetically. It wasn't until then that I looked down at my torso, where he was staring. My ribs and stomach were straight up black and blue. Xigbar did give me a good thrashing. My wrists were still sore and this was the first time i'd licked my lip. It tasted like dried blood. I must've looked a complete mess.

Resigned, I sat down, realizing how tired I was.

Axel kneeled in front of me and began probing my body with his soft, hot hands. They felt good. Massaging in circles the bruised parts of my body. They didn't even hurt, though winced when he reached a rib.

"Hmm, looks like you've got a few bruised ribs," He said softly, continuing his massaging motions up to my chest and down over my arms. I relaxed into his touch. He gently rubbed my raw wrists.

I opened my eyes, not realizing i'd even closed them, and look him dead in those emerald green ones. He was so worried. Heartbroken. He must've felt really guilty. I put my hand on his and the massaging stopped. He looked at our hands. "Axel," I started, "none of this was your fault."

"Of course all of it was my fault," he retorted, not looking up, "they wouldn't even know you existed if I hadn't-"

"If you hadn't saved me," I cut in.

He lifted his gaze to mine again and, tenderly, grabbed my chin, wiping at the blood on my lip.

"I wouldn't even exist right now if it weren't for you," I reminded him.

"Yea you wouldn't be here all bloodied and broken," He griped, still wiping at my lip.

"Hardly, you think I can't take a good ass kicking," I boasted, "I should've put them 6 feet under the ground for what they did to you-"

Axel's hand moved to my cheek and gently stroked it as he listened to me defend him against those goons, a soft smile on his face. My blood boiled under his touch. I could feel the blush rise into my face and I stumbled over my words.

Eventually, when none came and Axel stayed stroking my face, my breathing grew shallow. Nervous. Excited. His voice was even soft, "I'm so lucky to have you, Roxas."

I kissed him.

Right after he said that, I leaned forward, too quick to be stopped, ridiculously clumsy, and planted my lips on his. For a brief second euphoria washed over me. His lips were so soft and hot, just like the rest of him. I could feel him release from initial shock and give himself more to the moment. He was like fire. Burning. Burning!

I pulled back, the broken skin on my lip sizzling like seared flesh. I tried to clutch at it, but have you ever tried to clutch your mouth? It's weird.

Axel was in a stupor, dazed and confused. He blinked a couple of times at me before fear came over him. He started backing away from me, "Ah-a-ah I didn't mean to...I mean, did you? Mean to? I mean... oh my god Roxas, I'm sorry!"

Axel stood up brusquely, grabbed his clothes, and left the room.

Left me.

God dammit! What had I done? I didn't know if he really had feelings for me like that, or if he was just being nice to me, like a younger brother or something. What had I done?! Oh so stupid! I finished getting dressed in a huff and, checking myself out in the mirror to confirm how ridiculous I looked, left the room too.

My lip, strangely, didn't hurt anymore. I touched it to look for the cut. None could be found. Huh.

When I came out to the living room, Demyx had a few mugs of hot chocolate sitting ont he counter waiting for us. Axel, blowing on one of them, was talking to Demyx in hushed tones. Probably about what had happened today. Or what had happened right now?!

Self-consciously, I slithered into the room.

"Roxy!" Oh god, he'd already picked up on Axel's horrible nickname for me too, "get your butt over here and have some hot cocoa. Axel told me you'd travelled a long way to find some. A great adventurer you are!"

"Are you...stupid," I asked innocently.

Axel laughed loudly to that. "5 minutes and the kid has you pegged!"

"Shut up," Demyx snorted a laugh, punching axel in the arm.

Realizing I didn't offend, I made my way to the hot cocoa. Wrapping my hand gently around it, a grin spread over me and I looked up at Demyx, "Thank you very much."

"Aww, you're welcome sweetie," He cooed, rubbing my back as I sipped at the chocolatey goodness. Turning his attention to Axel he said, "Alright, go on."

Hesitantly, Axel looked at me before he continued the story of our 'adventure', "well then when I finally found him in Zex's 'Observatory' we were captured, after putting up a hell of a fight I might say. Rox even managed to knock out Zex while strapped to a chair."

"You little beast," Demyx chortled, "Zex can be a bitch when he wants to be. Or sometimes hes just a little bitch involuntarily." Demyx heaved a sigh. I could tell there were shared memories between the men about the people they were talking about.

Axel went on, "So we were going to be taken to see..._him_, but they threw me in the old room. They were going to take Rox alone. I guess he just got so freaked out that he summoned a blade. A Key Blade."

Demyx focused on me for a solid minute, scrutinizing my appearance, looking me up and down. It felt like he was looking for something in particular. Something I'd never be able to name. Demyx asked me, "What did it feel like?"

I thought for a moment, trying to recall this memory as best I could but...for some reason, it was fading rather quickly. "It didn't really hurt but it felt it was going to. It was white, but not that hot. It felt like...I was a volcano and it was the magma."

Nodding, Demyx replied, "Well put."

"So he broke into the room, locked them out, and we jumped out the window," Axel finished up "and here we are, unable to go home, cuz of those freaks."

"You're welcome as long as you need," Demyx comforted, putting a hand on Axel's shoulder. "I didn't mind the first millennia we spent together, I doubt I'd mind the second."

I was utterly confused. And expressed just that with an "uhhh….."

"Dammit, Dem, I said no age jokes," Axel scolded, laughing slightly with the blonde man. They conversed for a moment in what felt like a foreign language but sounded entirely like english. Another strange phenomenon of the day.

Eventually Demyx said, "alright you guys, it's late, got work in the morning, please make yourselves at home. Food's in the fridge, blankets on the bed and shows are on the TV. Sleep tight you guys!" With that, he put his mug in the sink and headed to his room, leaving Axel and I alone together.

I looked at him from over my steaming mug of cocoa, not sure what to do next.

He put down his mug and I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could do so, he grabbed me by the chin with his thumb and forefinger, a little rougher than last time, and pulled my face close to his, examining something.

"Your lip," He finally said, "It's...okay?"

"Better than that," I muffled through his inspecting thumb. He released me so I could talk properly. "It's healed. Like it never happened."

Axel raised an eyebrow to this. Although, there was no denying, I didn't have a trace of a cut on it. Strangest thing.

"Axel...about-"

"Don't," was all he said, "don't apologize for something you're not sorry for." He gazed at me long and hard, his emerald eyes piercing me. I felt incredibly guilty. He could see that. "Don't apologize...for something I'm not sorry for."

A smile flickered on his lips, devilish and beautiful. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into an embrace, squeezing me against his chest.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered into my hair, "I'm so lucky to have you."

No one ever said those words to me. No one but him.

* * *

><p><strong>Every time you leave a review, an angel gets its wings. Maybe it'll be Axel ;)<strong>


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